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01-14-2013
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Era Scum
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,264
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If anyone locks this thread I'm quiting graalians, depression is the most seriois thing I've come across in my life, when I was 14 I was confused and very depressed, but then I found a girl and I found confidence in myself, dude as jester said NO ONE is ugly.
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01-14-2013
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 10
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First of all, you're ugly because you think you are. Try to think things that aren't negative, don't be shy. Everyone are all the same we are all equal as human beings. If you feel sad listen to the songs you like or anything that makes you happy/pumped, try to talk to people, start a conversation, ask them what they like and try to find what you and your partner are in common. Always try to be happy even if you don't feel like it(trust me, it helps me). Ignore the people who are teasing you. They're just assholes that wants attention or acting all "cool and badass". In the future, they'll just be those guys who are poor and ends up in jail and doing stupid things in life. Just try and avoid all the negative things and be happy that you're alive. Be happy for what you are. Don't be someone that isn't you. I hope this helps you and remember, be happy for who you are, for what you are. Life is a great gift. You just don't know it yet. ![]() |
01-14-2013
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The Orator
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Yes
Posts: 3,307
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Many of you don't seem to really understand what she's going though. You can't just magically "think positive" or "be less shy" then call yourself a whole new person over night. Trust me, it isn't easy. It takes time to adjust and to change. First thing you need to do (and probably the most crucial) is to find a support group. People who care about you, which could be any friends, family members, Graalians maybe? People you know and can trust or just anyone who makes you feel comfortable. The next thing to do is to break your usual cycle. This isn't easy, it's something you usually have to force yourself into doing. But make it your goal to talk to someone at school. Even if it's just a short, casual conversation. Try and and at least talk to two people each day, and when time goes on and you feel more ready. Go for more people. Now, coming from someone who used to be very anorexic and still is mildly self-conscious I'm not going to try and advise you on something I could use some help with myself. But appearance wise what usually makes me feel better about myself is to work out and release all that energy and stress. Not gonna lie, I still am self-conscious but that still really helps me a lot. The most important thing is though, is to enjoy your youth. Have fun! Don't let anyone or anything get in your way. Your happiness is what truly matters ![]() |
01-14-2013
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Professional Burger
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: McDonalds
Posts: 2,564
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I've looked into this deeply. Sometimes, even "exposing yourself" or attempting to socialize and raise your self esteem isn't enough. Working out, getting a job, and talking certainly are many ways that instinctively change your mindset, or the way you look at situations. Having friends or responsibilities gives you confidence because you start to value yourself- the key problem with depression. But sometimes its not that easy, sometimes those things still don't change how you think. Depression boils down to, at it's most basic level, a way of looking at life in general. You either look at life's challenges as a test evaluating your skills, or you look at life's challenges as an opportunity to grow and better yourself. Respectively, people have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. 99.999% of the time, people that have depression a have a fixed mindset. They view every loss or every problem in life as an example of them being a failure. The goal is for you to change this. You need to view your losses, your problems, your failed goals, as opportunities to grow. You need to love these failures because they are fantastic opportunities that you can and will learn from if you only can change your mindset. The first step to getting better is believing you can get better. In the book, Mindset, Dweck (the author) explains how to start talking back to your fixed mindset. The fixed mindset says, “What if you fail? You’ll be a failure.” The growth mindset replies, “Most successful people had failures along the way.” So, in short, the absolute best way you need to follow for fixing your depression is changing how you look at failures. Its absolutely possible to change, you just have a habit of being in a fixed mindset. Every time you think "I can't" or "I'm not", re arrange your thoughts to try and find a new solution. Constantly look for unique and positive ways to learn and grow from life's problems. This is the most important part. Instead of just avoiding the stuff that bugs you, start making plans to fix them. Change those negatives into positives, think "I will". Do not look at what I'm saying as another inspirational concept that everyone throws around when depression is involved. This is your homework, kick depression in the ass and learn to love the failures in life! |
01-14-2013
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ENGUARD
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 996
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I've been in a very similar situation, all of which unfolds at exactly this age. As you grow older into your teenage years, I find that you become more conscious of your decisions and you start to understand how and why things are happening to you. From reading what you've already said, I do agree you have depression, however the symptoms of depression could also be the ones of anxiety. I went through anxiety almost all my life, it wasn't apparent to me until the ages of 14-15, when I started to be extremely self cautious, started missing school and ultimately hating life. There are many things you can do about this. I don't know you well enough, or were you live or how your financial situation is, but telling your parents in my opinion should be your first step. Assuming you have loving and caring parents, sit down with both of them and explain how you truly feel. Ask them if there are any therapists you could visit. (I highly recommend therapy). If you are unable to do therapy due to you being uncomfortable, or simply lack the funds, there are still many things you can do to help yourself. Firstly, do things that make you confident. Are you good at art or music? Practice these types of things daily, or every other day. Becoming more confident doesn't always mean you have to go out and make a million friends, join extra curricular activities at school that you enjoy, because most likely you'll meet someone with common interests. If all of this seems too hard for you to do, this may sound silly, but just stand up straight and smile. Walking with purpose can go a long way. tl;drbook some therapy sessions, do things that you are good at, stand up straight, do things you enjoy |