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08-17-2013
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The Cooliest?
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 1,117
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Teacher arrested
A school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney General Eric Holder said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction. “Al-Gebra is a problem for us,” the Attorney General said. “They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off at tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like ‘X’ and ‘Y’ and refer to themselves as ‘unknowns’ but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, ‘There are 3 sides to every triangle.’” When asked to comment on the arrest, President Obama said, “If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, he would have given us more fingers and toes.” White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the president. It is believed that another Nobel Prize will follow. |
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08-17-2013
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The muffin man
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Burger Refuge
Posts: 2,262
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I larfed(a bit).
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08-17-2013
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don't call it a comeback
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 8,268
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okay I'll admit, it's 4:30 AM and I'm tired as **** and as a result I thought this was real for a bit then I got to the Obama quote and then
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08-17-2013
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Circus
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: London
Posts: 2,090
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08-18-2013
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:pluffy:
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Sweden
Posts: 5,945
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lol so good
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08-18-2013
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The General
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: England
Posts: 1,753
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The math instruction was the give away for me.
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08-19-2013
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The Unwanted Critic
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,639
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well played. Debating whether or not I should show this to my calc teacher.
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08-19-2013
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Developerツ
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: ga
Posts: 838
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omq why would dey arrest dis when she gonna b out?!
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08-19-2013
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berny pls
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 331
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08-19-2013
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Classic
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: New York City
Posts: 908
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Al-Gebra made it obvious. 
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08-20-2013
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Speed Demon
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,288
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The Ancient Greeks were correct... The Al-Gebra Klan is back. |
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08-21-2013
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Back from the dead?
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,533
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Jolly good show :3
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08-21-2013
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Verified ✔️
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 6,041
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wat.
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