I hate these style of events. I do nothing but lag with people around. So I can't really compete for candy. Can't you think of better event ideas that require thought, rather than superior internet?
Something to do with instances might be a nice approach, even if it was group instances where you and some team go run around a map. Anything to break up the swarms and provide a fair chance for those in my situation... I'm almost positive I'm not the only one.