Graalians - View Single Post

The Doctor · 08-16-2014

Hello,

I am in desperate need of some advice. Since February, I was in a relationship with a girl that had a lot of similar interests with me. We both liked Computer Programming, the same TV shows, Classic Rock, and a lot of other things. We dated for a three or so months (not a lot), but she broke up with me in late April because I had not really kissed, hugged, or held hands like any other boyfriend would do. It is then when I figured out I was demi-romantic and demi-sexual.

Demi-romantics don't experience romantic attraction much, and only with those who are best friends or really close co workers. It is the same for demi-sexuals, who will only have sexual contact with those who are best friends or others that are close to them.

Anyway, shortly after, her best friend did not want to be friends anymore and he moved to Utah. My ex was very sad for her loss of a friend, and we soon became best friends. This is in May, after the breakup. We soon started talking as best friends and I felt a lot better. It is until she got a new boyfriend that I started getting these feelings.

I am jealous of her boyfriend, to shorten things up. I know we haven't dated long, but I am jealous that he is able to do romantic things like kissing and hugging, while I can't due to my inability to. I had always loved my ex, but I couldn't physically show it. She always tells me how they are making out or kissing or etc., and whenever she does, I get really sad and jealous of him.

I even got to the point where I told her I needed a month away from her to recollect my feelings (after she ditched me when we were talking to talk to her boyfriend), and she got really emotional and sad. She didn't want to lose me. I now believe that she is only using me as an emotional outlet for when she is sad, and needs to talk about her feelings. She is never there to hang out or have fun, because her boyfriend can provide that for her.

I feel like the only way to get rid of this problem is to end my friendship with her. I do not want to date her again, but I still feel this jealousy inside of me. Another option would be to find another girlfriend, but I am demi-romantic and I do not want to run into the same problem yet again. Is there any advise from people that were in similar situations?

Thank you so much.

08-16-2014	1
The Doctor Registered User Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Blacksburg, Virginia Posts: 5,459	Friendship Help Hello, I am in desperate need of some advice. Since February, I was in a relationship with a girl that had a lot of similar interests with me. We both liked Computer Programming, the same TV shows, Classic Rock, and a lot of other things. We dated for a three or so months (not a lot), but she broke up with me in late April because I had not really kissed, hugged, or held hands like any other boyfriend would do. It is then when I figured out I was demi-romantic and demi-sexual. Demi-romantics don't experience romantic attraction much, and only with those who are best friends or really close co workers. It is the same for demi-sexuals, who will only have sexual contact with those who are best friends or others that are close to them. Anyway, shortly after, her best friend did not want to be friends anymore and he moved to Utah. My ex was very sad for her loss of a friend, and we soon became best friends. This is in May, after the breakup. We soon started talking as best friends and I felt a lot better. It is until she got a new boyfriend that I started getting these feelings. I am jealous of her boyfriend, to shorten things up. I know we haven't dated long, but I am jealous that he is able to do romantic things like kissing and hugging, while I can't due to my inability to. I had always loved my ex, but I couldn't physically show it. She always tells me how they are making out or kissing or etc., and whenever she does, I get really sad and jealous of him. I even got to the point where I told her I needed a month away from her to recollect my feelings (after she ditched me when we were talking to talk to her boyfriend), and she got really emotional and sad. She didn't want to lose me. I now believe that she is only using me as an emotional outlet for when she is sad, and needs to talk about her feelings. She is never there to hang out or have fun, because her boyfriend can provide that for her. I feel like the only way to get rid of this problem is to end my friendship with her. I do not want to date her again, but I still feel this jealousy inside of me. Another option would be to find another girlfriend, but I am demi-romantic and I do not want to run into the same problem yet again. Is there any advise from people that were in similar situations? Thank you so much.