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US cannot succeed in destabilizing Iran, meanwhile Khomeni is trying to spread his revolution throughout the middle east, as US has installed puppet "governments" in other nations including Jordan, Saudi Arabia, and Israel
US is still butthurt that they couldn't **** over Iran like everyone else, decide to get even and make some jew oil goldz at the same time
Hey Saddam, you know that area on your border you and Iran are always fighting about? Yeah, that's totally yours, go **** 'em up man, don't let them do that to you. You beat Iran and you'll be king of the middle east bro, go beat Iran's ass!
(small area of border of Iran and Iraq, disputed for resources)
Saddam listens, his forces ****ing slaughter Iran's
Iran is now broken, no more revolution in the middle east now, hooray!
Saddam is feeling like a total badass, US decides they'll get some more **** out of him.
hey guys, check out Kuwait, they've got a ****load of oil, let's use Saddam again
Hey Saddam bro, you're a total badass, but look at that little **** Kuwait over there, man. He doesn't respect you, he's steaing your oil and ****! Go **** him up man.
Saddam is already kind of pissed because a) historically Kuwait was part of Iraq, b) Kuwait overproduces petroleum and lowers revenues for Iraq, and c) Kuwait promised him money, and did not deliver.
Saddam decides to go **** up Kuwait
****s up Kuwait's **** for several months, but as soon as he begins attacking, public opinion in the western world is extremely negative of America's stance
Oh ****, what do we do? Blame Saddam!
Saddam, you get the **** out of Kuwait right now!
what the **** murrica you just told me to invade these guys
lol whatever saddam **** you
First Gulf War
Murrican forces come in and rape Iraq up the ass, ****ing destroy infrastructure and basically everything everywhere
Iraq is crippled, no longer powerful in the middle east and no longer an issue for the US
Saddam is ****ing pissed, realizes he's been used
Openly makes the offer that anyone who suicide bombs in Israel, he'll give their family $50,000 USD
Suicide bombings all the time in Israel
Saddam is still pissed, and he's pissing off the US again now too
Years pass
George Bush Senior goes to visit Kuwait for some political bull****, basically preading the ****YEAH MURRICA sentiment
Saddam decides it's time to kill the bastard
sends suicide bomber to Kuwait
bomber ****s up, doesn't kill Bush senior
US decides that's it mother****er
Cue 2nd Gulf War, which began after 9/11, in 2003
Murrica is already filled with anti-middle east sentiment, 9/11 has gotten them all riled up
Oh what's that Bush Junior, you've had your administration make up bull**** claims of WMD's? WE WANT BLOOOOD
Invasion and subsequent occupation of Iraq coupled with invasion of Afghanistan
US can't get a foothold because of Al-Qaeda, Muslims are united against their bull**** and want them to GTFO
Hm, time for some skullduggery
Destroy important places of worship for both Sunnis and Shiites, and murder some of their leaders
blame both on the other side, divide and conquer is the plan, and it works.
Civil war? Excellent, now we can start killing.
Countless innocents slaughtered, all for naught
10 years later, lol sorry guys no WMD's, we totally could've sworn you had 'em. Our bad about ****ing up your country though, i'm sure you know, kabul and all this other **** can be rebuilt.
US is left trying to save face by "rebuilding" Afghanistan and Iraq
Understandably, lots of people there hate their guts, so this **** ain't a cakewalk
Copypasta I paste whenever someone mentions why the USA invaded reading it.
Also Crimea was gifted to Ukraine by Russia and is over 75% is Russian.
The new government didn't listen to the people outside of Kiev who are against the EU and pro Russia which angers the parts with lots of ethnic Russians which angered Russia who basically got screwed over, so they want their clay back if Ukraine is just going to flip them off.
TL;DR Crimea River
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