I have a few, and some from the abridged version.

Here is Jan's greeting to the "trapped" sir hellsing.

[while flipping them off]
"Er...hello? Is this thing on? Cool. This message is going out to the Round Table Conference, and a very personal and heart-filled shout-out to the queen bitch herself, Miss Hellsing! All right! Your ass is currently being kicked by the Valentine Brothers! My name is Jan Valentine, and I can't wait to meet each and every one of you. We'll be getting intimate as soon as me and the boys finish lunch, so let me be the first to thank you for providing us with these tasty snacks! By tomorrow, Hellsing will be nothing more than a pile of ****. (...) We highly recommend pissing yourselves, followed by a course of praying to your impotent god. But hey you can be a man and kill yourself. Thank you, London, we love you! Good night!"