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CONSPIRACY!!! *knocks coffee and papers off of desk in panic* THEY'RE WATCHING ME!!! *bolts down door then shoves bookshelf in front of it then ducks behind desk then points shotgun towards computer*
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WHAT ARE YOU DOING, JOHNSON?!
YOU JUST SPILLED COFFEE ALL OVER MY CARPET! MY. BRAND. NEW. CARPET. I. JUST. HAD. CLEANED. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS