Graalians - you will NEVER be a skater in the 2000s

it's 2005. School is out. It's time for the weekend.

You skateboarded to the mall and just mastered the kickflip, and just copped a sick shirt and spiked bracelet at hot topic

http://www.theblackfridaycoupons.com...eals-Sales.jpg

as you walk out with your nirvana shirt on your motorola razr gets a crazy number of texts (3, that was a lot then) from hot emo sluts, including stacey from algebra class

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41X1ME5CWJL.jpg

parents are gone for the weekend, they told you to be a good boy, you go back to your upper middle class mcmansion with the boys

http://www.city-data.com/forum/attac...1223_front.jpg

blaze some dat kush with the crew

http://www.secretsofthefed.com/wp-co.../007-joint.jpg

while you're blasting sick purple OG kush you bought with the money out of upper middle class mommy's purse you and your skater crew start getting the munchies, so you order the sickest pizza

http://bestplacesonearth.net/wp-cont...good-pizza.jpg

you turn on the video game system and start playing super smash brothers

http://199.101.98.242/media/images/6...rs_Melee-4.jpg

you text the girls back, telling them to get the **** over, you have dank ****, you have daddy's henny, you have ****ing pizza

While the bitches are coming over you and the boys start making legit crazy prank calls, to prostitutes on craigslist, to the local bas, to everything, cracking up like hyenas. You go out and tip over portapotties and egg other rich people's cars

http://www.hheaven.com/images/blog/car-egg.jpg

someone calls the police, now the cops are coming so you get on your sick bmx bikes and get the **** back to your mcmansion. the fat cops cannot go toe to toe with youth so they lose you behind a sidestreet

http://blog.oregonlive.com/ent_impac...mxdewtour2.JPG

the bitches are here now, you start getting crossfaded with them, daddy's brandy and dank purple OG

you put on some ****ty fake alternative rock music like nirvana, green day, or blink 182, that bemoans the capitalist consumerist culture that allows daddy to provide you with such a toptier existence

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikiped...diot_cover.jpg

then one of your buddies puts on this new sick rap single on a burned CD, it's called 'crank dat' by soulja boi

**** starts getting crazy, everyone is high af

everyone starts making out on the couch getting crunk

IT'S OVER

while your buddies are taking care of the 6/10s you take stacey up to your room, green day posters all over the wall

then stacey stutters "I really like you"

you go back downstairs and the bros are all wasted, they said they got laid, the other hoes went home, everyone laughs, the night was legit insane

when they all leave and it's just you and stacey she says "hey I can say I'm staying at jennifer's house, she'll cover for me, I can spend the night"

you lie in the backyard of your mcmansion holding hands looking at the stars

https://media.giphy.com/media/GC7C2Fi902BDG/giphy.gif

"it's so beautiful" stacey says... you just instinctively say "like you"

you see the lightning bugs are out...

you both laugh catching lightning bugs without a care in the world

https://media.giphy.com/media/WEMyNDaVcn08E/giphy.gif

you hear "I love you", you drift off into sleep

you wake up...

"stacey? where did she go?"

then you realize the truth

it's 2016

all of it was fake.