Depression
 

I am third-teen years old and I need some help. I'm in a depressed state and I don't know how to get up from it. I have no friends,I'm shy,ugly and every time I ask for advice I get nothing. I'm serious about all this I know this isn't a website for complaining but since no one in real life would help me I figured I try here.

Sorry to hear that, always feel free to message me

well, pretty sure we've all been through this type of thing in the past/present so they're might be a few of us that'd supply reasonable answers.
Just gain a little confidence in yourself and stop beating yourself up about the things you supposedly lack.
Trying doing something productive and open to people some can be understanding.
I've suffered from depression from the 7th grade all the way to the end of 9th grade I know what it feels like. People may believe your hard to approach or something relevant to that since that's the problem I use to have before my life turned upside down

Feel free to message me if you need any help

As Nabu said, you may think its weird that your asking online people, but a lot of the time, our comminuty can help you.

yah when people on here aren't bagging on one guy for no apparent reason we're pretty positive people :]

Hehe, except for some like 2 aha

Although I have maybe 5 best friends in real life, I'm very socially awkward. No one really asks me out on dates or wants to be friends with me because I'm a geek. That doesn't stop me from trying my best and improving my skills.

No one is ugly, take that back.

Depression goes around a lot now, I would be willing to bet over 85% of graalians were depressed at one point. The thing that helped me was getting out of my comfort zone and talking to people. Joining activities at school like sports, clubs etc. Great way to gain friends and connections.

I try to gain confidence and try not to be negative. But every time I try to get over it someone just points out one of my flaws and I'm repeating the cycle again.

It's called ignorance. Just ignore those people who believe that it's pretty damn likely theyre just bagging on you because they're going through a similar faze

People pointing out my flaws is my day-to-day life, I just learn to blow them off.

I try to find people to talk to but everyone my age are already in a group. I use to have a friend in till she moved. I try talk to my siblings but my brother a pothead and my sister thinks of me as the biggest bug in her life. I also tried out for basketball but they got a new coach and he kicked me off the team

Exactly.
You just gotta be content with being yourself instead of being another persons pawn

You'd be surprised how much the Graal community can actually help. I was (and still kind of am) depressed and turned to Graal too for support. And it helped. Not only has the Graal community helped me with depression, but also everyday things like math. To sum it all up, Graal is ready for just about anything you have, so just ask and someone will try to help.

don't think that works for 13 year olds @ rexx. lmao

Aww didnt wurk:(((

Have you seen how girls that age dress now? They're literally BEGGING for approval nowadays. Hopefully Kayla here doesn't follow that road

I do my hair and everything but if you mean by dressing like a prostitute then no......

I think the big problem is your age. At your age (At least for me) everyone needs to be as badass, swaggin, as possible or you will have no friends, it is even hard to make friends that are like you. My advice is to just be pretty chill, brush what others say off, if they bully you try and go along with it, don't let anyone think they are hurting you and they will get bored and stop, it may take some strength and patience, but you can do it.

Once you get older people will start to grow up and you will make friends, you just need to be social, it may seem awkward at first, but trust me you will look like a weirdo if you don't go out and try to make friends. Which may sound mean but it is true. When I got into highschool I assumed everyone would know each other and I'd look like a loser if I went around looking for friends, so I just stayed quiet. Sat alone. For awhile people that I didn't even know would ask me why I was so quiet (Probably wanted to be friends with me since I am so damn sexy.), and I never could think of an answer.

I think what I am trying to say is try to be more outgoing and talkative. Hope I helped. And don't be afraid to ask this community questions, if you present yourself maturely everyone will have no problem helping.

I've been low before. I used to have no friends. Used to want to kill myself. And if I didn't get through it, I think I might've done it. Feel free to message me ingame or on here if you need a pair of ears to listen. Just search Blueh (Zanza) on Classic and you'll find me.

SHOW THE POWER! USE THE FORCE!

Try to be friends with other people who look like loners.

I honestly feel comfortable not having many friends at all. Actually, I prefer it. And by not many I mean less than 5 people I occasionally interact with. Though the funny thing is I get like 60+ likes on pictures on Facebook and I don't like any of those people..
Anyways, you are "depressed" that you have no friends? Don't worry so much about what other people think of you. You don't need their approval, the only person that matters is yourself and whatever makes you happy. **** whatever people think of you because it's impossible to meet everyone's approval and expectations.

You're probably just going through a phase but you know, just **** it and do whatever you want.

#1

+ 1

If anyone locks this thread I'm quiting graalians, depression is the most seriois thing I've come across in my life, when I was 14 I was confused and very depressed, but then I found a girl and I found confidence in myself, dude as jester said NO ONE is ugly.

And as for "you can't go talk to anyone" thing, consult a counciler or even your teacher hell, if you willing to talk to a 23 year old man about your problems message me.

Pedo alert

First of all, you're ugly because you think you are. Try to think things that aren't negative, don't be shy. Everyone are all the same we are all equal as human beings. If you feel sad listen to the songs you like or anything that makes you happy/pumped, try to talk to people, start a conversation, ask them what they like and try to find what you and your partner are in common. Always try to be happy even if you don't feel like it(trust me, it helps me). Ignore the people who are teasing you. They're just assholes that wants attention or acting all "cool and badass". In the future, they'll just be those guys who are poor and ends up in jail and doing stupid things in life. Just try and avoid all the negative things and be happy that you're alive. Be happy for what you are. Don't be someone that isn't you. I hope this helps you and remember, be happy for who you are, for what you are. Life is a great gift. You just don't know it yet. :)

Many of you don't seem to really understand what she's going though. You can't just magically "think positive" or "be less shy" then call yourself a whole new person over night. Trust me, it isn't easy. It takes time to adjust and to change. First thing you need to do (and probably the most crucial) is to find a support group. People who care about you, which could be any friends, family members, Graalians maybe? People you know and can trust or just anyone who makes you feel comfortable. The next thing to do is to break your usual cycle. This isn't easy, it's something you usually have to force yourself into doing. But make it your goal to talk to someone at school. Even if it's just a short, casual conversation. Try and and at least talk to two people each day, and when time goes on and you feel more ready. Go for more people. Now, coming from someone who used to be very anorexic and still is mildly self-conscious I'm not going to try and advise you on something I could use some help with myself. But appearance wise what usually makes me feel better about myself is to work out and release all that energy and stress. Not gonna lie, I still am self-conscious but that still really helps me a lot. The most important thing is though, is to enjoy your youth. Have fun! Don't let anyone or anything get in your way. Your happiness is what truly matters :)

Dress like a prostitute. It works on me ;)

I've looked into this deeply. Sometimes, even "exposing yourself" or attempting to socialize and raise your self esteem isn't enough. Working out, getting a job, and talking certainly are many ways that instinctively change your mindset, or the way you look at situations. Having friends or responsibilities gives you confidence because you start to value yourself- the key problem with depression. But sometimes its not that easy, sometimes those things still don't change how you think.

Depression boils down to, at it's most basic level, a way of looking at life in general. You either look at life's challenges as a test evaluating your skills, or you look at life's challenges as an opportunity to grow and better yourself. Respectively, people have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. 99.999% of the time, people that have depression a have a fixed mindset. They view every loss or every problem in life as an example of them being a failure. The goal is for you to change this. You need to view your losses, your problems, your failed goals, as opportunities to grow. You need to love these failures because they are fantastic opportunities that you can and will learn from if you only can change your mindset.

The first step to getting better is believing you can get better. In the book, Mindset, Dweck (the author) explains how to start talking back to your fixed mindset. The fixed mindset says, “What if you fail? You’ll be a failure.” The growth mindset replies, “Most successful people had failures along the way.”

So, in short, the absolute best way you need to follow for fixing your depression is changing how you look at failures. Its absolutely possible to change, you just have a habit of being in a fixed mindset. Every time you think "I can't" or "I'm not", re arrange your thoughts to try and find a new solution. Constantly look for unique and positive ways to learn and grow from life's problems. This is the most important part. Instead of just avoiding the stuff that bugs you, start making plans to fix them. Change those negatives into positives, think "I will". Do not look at what I'm saying as another inspirational concept that everyone throws around when depression is involved. This is your homework, kick depression in the ass and learn to love the failures in life!

I've been in a very similar situation, all of which unfolds at exactly this age. As you grow older into your teenage years, I find that you become more conscious of your decisions and you start to understand how and why things are happening to you. From reading what you've already said, I do agree you have depression, however the symptoms of depression could also be the ones of anxiety. I went through anxiety almost all my life, it wasn't apparent to me until the ages of 14-15, when I started to be extremely self cautious, started missing school and ultimately hating life.

There are many things you can do about this. I don't know you well enough, or were you live or how your financial situation is, but telling your parents in my opinion should be your first step. Assuming you have loving and caring parents, sit down with both of them and explain how you truly feel. Ask them if there are any therapists you could visit. (I highly recommend therapy). If you are unable to do therapy due to you being uncomfortable, or simply lack the funds, there are still many things you can do to help yourself.

Firstly, do things that make you confident. Are you good at art or music? Practice these types of things daily, or every other day. Becoming more confident doesn't always mean you have to go out and make a million friends, join extra curricular activities at school that you enjoy, because most likely you'll meet someone with common interests. If all of this seems too hard for you to do, this may sound silly, but just stand up straight and smile. Walking with purpose can go a long way.

tl;drbook some therapy sessions, do things that you are good at, stand up straight, do things you enjoy

PUBERTY ALERT

You should try it :)

When I was depressed (forced back into private school, was horrible, no friends, etc.), I usually just sat down and relaxed. Maybe catch up on a book or read ahead in my Language Arts textbook. I get so lost in it I usually forget. Or you could go my current way and be an asshole to everyone you hate (subtly make fun of them, "accidentally" drop push their stuff on the floor, take their things like erasers or pencils). Works great if you're on good terms with the teachers/supervisors.

Thanks for the advice everyone. I thought about most of the post on here,I will most likely try to follow through on them. Hopefully they"ll help me.

****** alert you broke my radar

I used to be shy few years ago but i've always had some friends. Puberty helped me a lot. After it i was much more comfortable and less shy. I know it's hard to overcome shyness but try to go speak with people that seem nice and just speak normaly, without acting shy or "blocked". If somebody invites you to a party and you're "scared" to go there make an effort and you won't regret it. Try do activities such as sport. The most important thing is to make an effort even if you don't feel doing it (such as going out with friends etc). Of course it's always good to speak with adults or specialists as it can only bring positive things. Don't worry it almost always gets better when you get older and don't forget there is always somebody that has the same passion/personality and would love to be your friend.

Xena.
+rep.

If i could.

Best advice is go see a doctor.

What the hell is a doctor going to do?
No doctor is going to prescribe a 13 year old anti-depressants nor does she need them.

Its hard to be serious when you don’t know if people are trolling you but im a go ahead and give my advice.

First and most important thing is to understand that battling depression is going to take some time. This aint going to go away overnight. Just like losing weight it takes time and effort to resolve the problem.

So heres what you do. You find the closest community center with a boxing program. Then you talk to your parents about letting you joined their boxing program. If they agree to let you do it I suggest you try it out for a couple moths and put all your effort into it. Boxing will help you in many ways to deal not only with depression but with life in general. If you have weight issues this is one of the best ways to get fit and live a healthier life style. If one of the problems is people bullying you this will give you the tools to beat them down. (im not promoting violence but people usually don’t bully people that could kick their butts). If you don’t have friends maybe this will help you on getting some. Boxing programs usually have a 0 tolerance on bullying and promote respect amongst each other.

There’s a saying that says “you’re as beautiful as you feel” so instead of calling yourself ugly try calling yourself beautiful.

Also don’t worry about having a lot of friends. If you talk to 100 people in school it doesn’t mean you have 100 friends. A real friend is a person that will be there when you really need them. Even in a life time people only get a handful of real friends.

If you learn how to ignore the negative stuff people say about you, it will make your life better. Don’t worry about what people think about you, the important thing is that you’re happy with who you are.

Swy if my writing sucks its not my thing

There must be programs at your school to help you with these kinds of problems.

The best advice anybody will ever give you is that if you stay positive it will get better.

I'm not good with advice, but hope you overcome your depression! it sucks!!

Glad to see the graalian community try to help you with your situation!


stay positive! =)

never open up to people cause most of the time they'll judge you. ive never been depressed but when i used to feel lonely i just listened to "the motto-drake"..not even kidding but just saying the word yolo makes me smile.

fun fact: A gentle smile will relax you and lift your mood (even if you fake it)

Probably save a life.
Worst decision is not finding help.

Best idea is to see a Therapist, not a doctor. Many medications, not specifically anti-depressants but other psychological meds come with a 'black box warning'. What this entitles, is a higher chance of suicide. Not to mention 2000 other things.

The moral of the story: just say yolo and everything will be better

I think the closest I've gotten depression is when I open the fridge and there's no orange juice inside.

Don't feel bad about being depressed. Everyone here has been depressed and if not, you will be soon. I am curreently in a bad state of depression. It's nothing to be upset about. Many people have different ways of getting over depression. Do things to get your mind off of it is the best way to do it. If that doesn't work than you should talk to a school counselor or your parents. It is best to talk to someone about your problems so you don't bottle them all up and/or do something stupid to hurt yourself. I tend to bottle up my emotions and then release them out on people. That's not a good idea. Don't do that. Ever. It will just make people upset with you and you'll just have a bad time. About having no friends, you just have to get out there and make some new friends. Find people with the same interest as you. It's easy! There's a bunch of people around you everyday. Someone is willing to listen to you and be your friend. I understand that some people are socially awkward, I get that. It's not going to change anything if you just sit around and complain about you not having any friends if you don't go out there and get them! Making friends is fun and enjoyable. Everyone loves to have someone around them to talk to and to have fun with. Communication is a key part of the human body. If you sit around and don't talk to anyone, you're going to be miserable. About being ugly: no one is ugly. At all. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. You're 13, you're still growing and you'll become more and more beautiful as life goes on.
In short: Do things you love, meet new people, and live life to the fullest.
Also, don't ever consider suicide. That's the most idiotic thing you can do. It is a permanant fix to your tempararoy problems. Life is too precious to even miss a second. Get out there and live it up.

EDIT: if any of you ever need to talk to me about any of your problems or you just need a friend to talk to that will listen, shoot me a PM on here or my Skype is poeticfolly.

I have never been depressed

Was depressed once, I thought my nine incher was too little